Guys dating women with kids
Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.
So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.
Quick tip: listing not being autistic as a plus is not going to help or win you many friends.
People all over the autism spectrum have relationships which run the gamut, from friends-with-benefits arrangements to long and happy marriages.
There are a multitude of signals and signs that dictate who we are and aren’t attracted to – many of which we aren’t consciously aware of.
When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.
Which means – say it with me now: this isn’t an example of female privilege.
If you mean “women don’t make the first move,” then you’re missing a critical factor: a lot of guys react to women who flaunt or invert gender roles.
You may get along great from the other side of a monitor, but once you’re sitting in front of one another… now you’re just struggling to get through the date in the first place. Before I continue, let me emphasise that I have given none of the below views, or expressed any kind of negativity, on any of my dates. As a man, I realise my privilege in being able to confidently walk alone after a night out, and meet strangers without feeling threatened. There is literally nothing good that’s going to come of this. with a corresponding problem for men that manifests itself differently – less of the frequent and acute annoyance, danger and fear that faces women, but the following (not even an exhaustive list): Alright my dude, you wanted to know about how to address this negative mindset. well, with a lot of these, you’re so off that you don’t even manage to be . – A chronic, never-ending state of being ignored by women in social settings; – Being effectively invisible to every woman you see in public; So I’m going to take these two together because either you’re repeating yourself or you’re conflating things in ways that only make sense to you.
Which is why I suspect that part of the problem you’re having here is that you have a hole marked “Girlfriend” that you’re trying to fill and are less concerned about who fills it. …but all of them have rejected me with words along the lines of “it was lovely to meet you but I’m not sure I felt enough of a connection for a second date”. All of this despite evidence that they were interested in me, flowing conversation punctuated by laughter and even occasional arm touches etc. OK someone call Sir Mix-A-Lott because I hear a big “But” coming… If by “being ignored by women”, you mean that women aren’t approaching you for dates, then we’ve found your first problem.
But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.
These are the Post-Mortems, where we dissect a letter and dig through the remains in order to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, we’re having to liberally apply the Chair Leg of Truth to a lifetime of beliefs.